Funny Short Stories and Jokes

One day, a very worried-looking man knocked at Mrs. Brown’s door.

"I’m terribly sorry," he said, "I’ve run over your cat. I’d like to replace it."

"All right," said Mrs. Brown doubtfully. "But can you catch mice?"

* * *

Smith: I’m really worried about my wife. She drives like lightning.

Brown: Do you mean that she drives too fast?

Smith: No, but she always strikes trees.

* * *

Inventor: I’m going to invent something that will enable people to see through walls!

Assistant: But, sir, it has already been invented.

Inventor: Impossible! What is this thing called?

Assistant: A window, sir.

* * *

Teacher: Tom, your hands are very dirty. What would you say if I came to school with dirty hands?

Tom: I should be too polite, sir, to mention it.