Mark Twain’s Jokes

Mark Twain was not only a famous writer but also a famous humorist. He travelled very much, making speeches in different towns. During these speeches he always told several funny stories.

Wherever he went he was followed by reporters who wrote down everything he said. His stories were told and retold, and passed down from generation to generation. His remark (when he heard a rumor that he was dead), "The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated," has become an American byword.

There are many humorous stories connected with his name. Here are two of them.

Once Mark Twain and two of his friends were sitting in a restaurant. One friend had just returned from a trip to the mountains. He said that the air in these mountains was very clear. In many places the echo of a voice came back five times stronger than the original voice.

"That is nothing," said the second friend. "In Colorado, in many places, the echo of a voice spoken in the morning comes back in the afternoon."

Mark Twain laughed. Then he said, "Listen! The echoes which you have told about are very unusual. But in a small church in Hannibal where I was born there is an echo more unusual even than those."

"What is so strange about the echo there?" asked one of the men.

"Well, I'll tell you," said Mark Twain. "The echo in that church is so unusual that if one says in a loud voice, 'Good morning! How are you?'"

The echo comes back after a moment very clearly, "Very well, thank you. And how are you?'"

* * *

Once Mark Twain was asked to autograph "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin."

The owner of the book, nervously trying to make conversation while Mark Twain wrote his name, asked, "By the way, when did Benjamin Franklin die?"

Twain opened the book, read the last pages carefully, then looked up at the owner and said, "He doesn't say."