Treacle Tart by Robert Graves

5

Part I

It was the beginning of the school year. Many of our boys came to school by the same train. On the railway platform we heard that a lord was coming to our school. He was a new boy, eight years old. We didn’t know any lords and on the way to school talked only about lords. We came to school at dinner-time.

The Headmaster brought a small, thin boy with fair hair into the dining-hall. He showed the boy his seat at the end of the table where the new boys were sitting.

“This is Lord Julius Bloodstock, boys,” said the Headmaster, “you will call him Bloodstock. No titles here.”

“I like when boys call me Julius,” the boy said.

“We use only surnames here,” said the Headmaster. At the end of the dinner treacle tart was put on the table. Treacle tart was a tradition at our school. We had treacle tart for dinner every Monday. Mr. Lees, the teacher on duty, who was sitting at the end of the table, saw that Julius did not touch his treacle tart.

“Eat it, boy. You must not leave anything on your plate. School rule.”

“I never eat treacle tart,” said Julius.

“You must call me ‘sir’,” said Mr. Lees.

“I thought we didn’t use titles here, but only surnames,” said Julius.

“Call me ‘sir’,” said Mr. Lees.

“Sir,” said Julius.

“Eat your tart,” repeated Mr. Lees.

“But I never eat treacle tart, sir!”

“You must eat it,” said Mr. Lees.

Julius smiled.

At that moment the Headmaster asked: “What are you talking about, Mr. Lees? Summer holidays?”

“No, Headmaster. But I cannot make the new boy eat our traditional treacle tart.”

“Send him up here with his plate!”

When the Headmaster saw that the new boy was Julius, his face changed. He did not know what to do and said with a smile:

“My dear boy, eat that excellent piece of tart and we shan’t say anything about it.”

“I never eat treacle tart, Headmaster.”

The Headmaster’s face again changed.

“You want to say you cannot eat it now. Very well. You may eat it at supper, when your piece of treacle tart will be on the table before you.”

All the boys laughed. Later in the corridor one of the boys said that he wanted to beat Julius because he smiled.

“But you must beat me first,” I said, “I don’t like treacle tart either.”

Part II

The bell rang for supper. For supper on the first school day the boys had cakes which they brought from home. Pieces of the cakes were put on plates and a plate was given to each boy. But there was only a plate of treacle tart in front of Julius. He did not touch the tart, but drank some tea only. In the bedroom he told us a funny story, then the lights were turned off.

In the morning the bell rang and we got up. Then the bell for breakfast.

“I never eat treacle tart,” said Julius. So he had no breakfast. We took some pieces of bread and meat with us when we left the table. We thought we could give them to Julius in the playground. But the teacher on duty did not let us. He had to see that no food was given to Julius.

Bell: English. Bell: math. Bell: long break. Bell: writing. Bell: washing hands for dinner.

“I never eat treacle tart,” said Julius when he saw the plate with treacle tart on it. Then he fainted.

The Headmaster sent a telegram to Julius’s father in which he explained the school rules and discipline. He got the answer:

The boy never eats treacle tart.

Julius was taken to a room for children, who were ill. They gave him milk and soup but no meat or anything because he did not eat treacle tart.

More telegrams went to Julius’s home and back.

Two days later, when we were playing football in the playground, a car came to the door of the school. Julius in a coat and a hat came out with a bag and football boots in his hands, and got into the car. We cheered him three times and he touched his hat in answer. Then the car went away.

We liked Julius and promised each other not to eat treacle tart the next Monday. But when Monday came, the boys who were sitting near the Headmaster were afraid and ate the tart.