Limericks I

4.5

A limerick is a nonsense poem of five lines. The first, second and fifth lines have three stresses and rhyme with one another. The third and the fourth lines rhyme with each other, but they are shorter than the other three.

Limericks are very popular in England.

In 1960, a competition for the best limerick was held by the “Daily Worker”. The last seven limericks you will read this week were written by English pupils for this competition.

Here are some of the most popular limericks. Many of them were written by the famous English poet Edward Lear

* * *

There was an old person of Deal,

Who in walking used only his heel;

When they said, “Tell us why?”

He made no reply,

That mysterious old person of Deal.

* * *

There was an old person of Fife,

Who was greatly disgusted with life;

They sang him a ballad,

And fed him on salad,

Which cured that old person of Fife.

* * *

There was an old lady of France,

Who taught little ducklings to dance;

When she said, “Tick-a-tack!”

They only said, “Quack!”

Which grieved that old lady of France.

* * *

There is a clever old miser who tries

Every method to e-con-omize.

He said with a wink,

“I save gallons of ink

By simply not dotting my i's.”

* * *

There was an old man of the North,

Who fell into a basin of broth;

But a laudable cook

Fished him out with a hook,

Which saved that old man of the North.

* * *

There was a young lady whose nose

Was so long that it reached to her toes;

So she hired an old lady

Whose conduct was steady,

To carry that wonderful nose.

* * *

There was a young fellow in Ealing

Devoid of all delicate feelings.

When he read on a door,

“Don’t spit on the floor,”

He immediately spat on the ceiling.

* * *

There once was a man of Calcutta,

Who spoke with a terrible stutter.

At breakfast he said,

“Give me b-b-b-bread

And b-b-b-b-b-b-butter.”

* * *

A cheerful old bear at the Zoo

Said, “I never have time to feel blue;

When it bores me, you know,

To walk to and fro,

I revise it and walk fro and to.”

* * *

There was a young lady named Esther;

She lived in the County of Leicester.

She went for a walk,

Had a very long talk,

And found she had gone right to Chester.

* * *

There was an old man from Peru,

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He woke in a fright

And he put on the light

Just to find it was perfectly true.

* * *

There was an old man who liked beer.

He drank till it poured from each ear.

He said, “This much I know.

When it pours from each toe,

I’ll be full to the brim with good cheer.”

* * *

In the capital town of Peru,

Everyone walked two by two.

They all asked each other,

“Are you my brother?”

And it ended with “How do you do?”

* * *

There was an old man from Eire,

Who stuck his feet in the fire.

Although he got burnt,

He never learnt

It was quite the wrong way to get drier.

* * *

A young man from Salisbury Plain

Said, “I’m joining the Peace Campaign.”

When asked why it was,

He replied, “It’s because

H-bombs and war are insane!”

* * *

There was once a man from Nice

Who joined in the fight for Peace;

When asked to say why

He replied, “I must try

To prevent our untimely decease.”